Well I was born in the land of my ranch
I got a pig and a sheep and I call them my friends
I feed them hay (hay!) and then we play (Play!)
Run around in the barn for the rest of the day
But there’s one fellow I cannot stand
It’s my big dump horse
It’s not my friend
Cause every time that I tried to ride it
It won’t move
And then I start to cry

PONY, PONY, PONY
HORSE, HORSE, HORSE
RIDE, RIDE, RIDE
UUH

PONY, PONY, PONY
HORSE, HORSE, HORSE
RIDE, RIDE, RIDE
SCREW YOU!

You are my pony and
I have to be nice
But if you don’t even try
I put you back in the stall

PONY, PONY, PONY
HORSE, HORSE, HORSE
RIDE, RIDE, RIDE
SCREW YOU!

I have a neighbor that I do not greet
He has an ostrich that he regularly feeds
He sits on its back and they’re building up speed
I look over to my horse and we have to act sweet!
I feed him Celery
To power up his battery
I comb his mane
And I teach him how to dance with me
I take my Time and I look in his eyes
I use my pocket watch to get him Hypnotized
I say:

PONY, PONY, PONY
HORSE, HORSE, HORSE
RIDE, RIDE, RIDE

UUH
PONY, PONY, PONY
HORSE, HORSE, HORSE
RIDE, RIDE, RIDE
SCREW YOU!

You are my pony and
I have to be nice
But if you don’t even try
I’m gonna call the police

PONY, PONY, PONY
HORSE, HORSE, HORSE
RIDE, RIDE, RIDE
SCREW YOU!